The first was a conversation I overheard in the Post Office - some older residents of the village I live in talking about how they refused to recycle cos "one minute we're told not to waste water then the next they want us to rinse out can and bottles. I'm not paying to do their dirty work". They also complained about illegal immigrants, travellers in the woods and the Co-op (who've just taken over the village supermarket from a family owned business).
I'm thinking, surely you can use the dirty washing up water to rinse out some cans? And what's there to complain about the Co-op? The family wanted to sell up so they could retire, I'm sure they got a lot of money for the business and the Co-op are some of the best employers, most ethical and green retailers and you get a dividend everytime you shop so get money back for belonging.
But they were talking about prices going up by a few pence on things, and how its a struggle to make ends meet - so who am I to say they're wrong. I don't have to worry about every penny in that way. I got the impression that they are so used to fending for themselves that anything external - like the council insisting they recycle or big business taking over Shirley's shop feels hostile.
The travellers issue is really interesting - here's a quote from the parish newsletter: "We have travellers in the woods again. the last time they were here they stayed almost 6 months. It is understood that they are not causing any problems themselves, but their dogs are certainly putting off visitors to the woods, who use this area for walks or to exercise their own animals. Efforts are being made through the courts to remove these travellers as has happened in the past. Anyone who wishes to complain about the situation are advised to write to ..."
As I read this, its saying - travellers are here, they're not causing trouble apart from some noisy dogs, but we're getting them evicted because... well, because we don't like them. And even though we can't find anything to complain about them here's the address to write to with your complaints.
Another example of that attitude is found further on in the magazine: "the subject of youths congregating on the car park late at night was discussed. We are extremely concerned at the ever increasing youth activity which sometimes culminates in disruptive behaviour, causing upset to neighbouring residents. we have therefore decided to ..."
Again, the facts seem to be that young people are congregating and occassionally being disruptive - its not like there are knifings, gang warfare or drugs. As the New Statesman put it the other week, we're demonising a generation.
Yet a report out today says our young people are among the most badly behaved in Europe, explaining that "in contrast to their European counterparts, they spend far more time with their peers than with adults where they miss out on the development of what are called "soft skills" - the social and personal development which is increasingly vital in a country built around service industry."
This disconnect between adults and young people is due to the changes in families, like divorce and single parenting, and the culture of young people in Britain has always been "hanging out with your mates".
But there aren't many people raising the issue of where the young people could go to hang out together thats safer and less disruptive to others - I'm no youth worker but it strikes me that they'd probably like to be hanging out with their mates doing something cool like skateboarding, making films, playing basketball or something.
But til we get the facilities in the village then they'll carry on hanging around somewhere - though not the carpark cos that's going to be closed and they're increasing CCTV coverage (another topical link!)
Personally I wasn't allowed to hang around on the street, I had to be somewhere with my friends to be allowed to hang out with them. I'd hope that Rhianna and Finnan would bring their mates home to ours, even if it meant having all the food in the house consumed like locusts had been through, so we could be involved in their lives and they'd be safer. But what do I know, I don't have teenagers....
It just struck me that I live in the same place as the people who wrote and said those things yet my experience of situations is totally different. Trying to connect with people by listening and attempting to be empathetic to their experiences is the only way I'd earn the right to put my different viewpoint across.
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9 comments:
Empathy is indeed a real 'key skill'.
Hearing that the institution of the family shop has come to an end makes me a little sad and reminiscent, and I haven't lived there for 6 years or more. Which to me highlights one rather interesting idea; the community loved it's own. Everybody knew who everybody was, and nothing changed very much for a long time. There is a caring for the current situation and the people behind it.
If a shop closes in Norwich, we don't mind. Another one comes along and fills the gap sooner or later. It's so much more intense when the same thing happens in a village.
Aren't we missing, in society, that aspect of caring what happens to others in our community? Isn't that pretty much what the church is called to be building?
As for the 'youth' congregating and talk of CCTV, I remember a time before there were street lights there! Youth still congregated (though mainly on the rec) and caused disruption. It's most certainly not a new thing!
Odd, isn't it, how attitudes can be so different. It's especially the "they're not doing anything wrong but we'll get rid of them anyway" thing that seems strange to me.
pax et bonum
It's crazy how your blog expresses my very thoughts! I got a link to it from Paul's blog and I got a link to his blog from a UEA CU email... I'll definitely keep on reading up on what you write because I'm clearly on the same track of thoughts as you and these issues are building up my concern for our future every single day.
Really interesting stuff Heather. Thanks especially for the link to the New Statesman article- that will come in very handy for an essay I'm writing!
What interests me as a youth worker is how young people like to lay claim to spaces outdoors and many of them aren't particularly interested in being in a home or youth club. They like to hang out outside.
What also really fascinates me is that "society" as a whole really doesn't like this. We feel they should be indoors, some where doing something "productive". They make us feel edgy. Trouble is, all people have a right to spend time in a public area, it isn't illegal unless they engage in some illegal activity. We just distrust
a) young people
b) anyone with time on their hands
c) in a large group
It would be nice as a society if we could feel more at home outdoors and try and understand what it is that young people are trying to discover about themselves, their leisure time and relationships by being in a group outside.
http://roughageman.blogspot.com/2006/11/void-of-viewpoints.html
"It would be nice as a society if we could feel more at home outdoors and try and understand what it is that young people are trying to discover about themselves, their leisure time and relationships by being in a group outside."
Helsalata - I'd be really interested in what you think it is about as I do find it baffling but would like to be more empathetic!
I really don't see the appeal myself! Maybe it's something to do with the weather but I love being indoors. I guess the only way we adults claim the outdoors in groups is on lovely sunny picnics and occasionally in sports. I think being outdoors is an act of rebellion for young people but I don't think even they fully feel comfortable there.
I don't know, this probably doesn't even make any sense!
It could be a lack of places to go - I know when I was living with my mum I would much rather have been out with friends, but that either meant spending money (whether on entertainment, drinks in a coffee shop or whatever) or spending time in the library, which only held my interest for so long and wasn't entirely suitable for spending time with friends. Apart from youth clubs at church (often too structured for any proper socialising)the only alternative is outside!
(was outside for me)
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